"SHE" - her beloved AH MUH

she dun knw y,thr must be smtg happend b4 her exam.
she hates this,reali hates this and she reali scares of this.
"pls, stop this."


one more time,in less than one year,the god take away one more person tat she cares.
she hates the feeling of being alone here, she hates the feeling of canx see both of them for one last time, she hates the feeling of canx be there with those who care of them and send them off for one last time.
"I HATE this!"

She feels the pain,and she understands even btr that her closest niece will have more pains than she has. she wish that she is thr with her niece,jus the same as the time when they were stl young-they were oways together and be there for each other at sweet and hard time.


Her father called her,it was a normal call,bt it ended up with two ppl crying thr.
wat make her even sadder is her niece's voice and mail.


"SHE" is the best grandma of her niece.
"SHE" is her sis and her favourite "Ah muh(aunt)"
"SHE” is an excellent god mum of her bro.
"SHE“ is a friendy and closest sister in law of her parents.

"SHE" means so much for ALL of them.


she and her niece grow up tgt, studied in the same kindergarden,same primary and even secondary. Among o othr relatives, her family are very close to "ah muh" family.she can stl remember when she was in kindergarden,she oways wanted to go to "ah muh" house instead of going bec,as she knw her " ah muh" would sayang her,prepared her many foods,and even help her to take bath,this was
how close they were. she would never gt scolded by "ah muh" even she was reali naughty and bullied her niece. she love her "ah muh" "kuih" so much - ang ku kuih, teow chiew kuih (ah muh could make the best ever teow chiew kuih),bak zhang.

during secondary, she din go to "ah muh" house tat often,til aft form 5.
she and her niece are studying at dffrnt place now, but they r stl close, everytime when thy r in hometown,they would stl meet in "ah muh' house. she stl can remember that everytime she visited "HER","SHE" would stl sayang and ask her to eat this eat tat and even ask her to bring bec the fruits from own orchard.

Even
the time she visits "ah muh" became lesser, bt everytime she called her "ah muh", "SHE" would definitely show "HER" smile 1st,then think for a while and said,
" ah woon ah , it's u, ah muh is old liao , omost canx recognise u ''.

she gt to meet "HER" one more time b4 she flied, but tat was
her last time to see "HER". tat time, "ah muh" knw tat she and her family gt a new house in kl,
" i wanna go to see the house when i bcm better and able to walk. "
everytime "SHE" said abt the fact "SHE" x walk,thr was an emo face,bt "SHE" oways covered
it up quickly v a smile face again and ask abt other things.
It was the last time she saw "HER".


"SHE" treated her reali well,bt she never gives anything bec as a return or tx "HER".
NOW, she canx even b thr to send "HER" off.


she likes "HER" so much deep in the heart,reali like.



DO u knw the feeling of losing two important ppl in less than one year?
DO u knw the feeling of not being able to b thr to c both of them for one last time?
DO u knw the feeling of not being able to send both of them off?
and
DO u knw the feeling tat when u go bec, thr r two persons not being thr anymore?

"NO, YOU DON'T ."

时光飞逝

随着时间的流逝,心里的忐忑渐渐的升华。记得曾经跟某人说过,至少距离让我不再有任何的期待。

已流逝的时间里,我的生活没有你,没有他,也没有他们。这样的生活,在某些程度上对我来说
是种挑战,也是种解脱。我不再期待任何人的了解,关心,帮助,更不会盼望在某个角落会遇见你。

随着时间的流逝,习惯了没有期待,只有想念的日子。“你过得好吗?” 我想是的,想你时,我好多了。而原因不是你,也不是我,而是距离。距离让期待瞬间消逝,想念顿时好空虚。


距离结束了我的期待,
就像现实结束了你我。

这几年难熬的不是感情,而是明明知道对方的动静,但得知的方式却不是经由你我口中。错过彼此这几年的生活,让我觉得,彼此已不再是对方的一部分了,以前的了解似乎好不真实。刻意,伤害了你我。

“对不起” 记得说这句话该有的心态吗?至今,你学会了。不过对于我,你似乎始终还是得那么的理所当然。霸道,这一次,对于身为朋友的我,你该收收点了吧?


这段没期待只有想念的日子,让我反思。也让我想起你的好与付出。甚至吵架的日子我都想念。距离让我变得更习惯自己一个人的生活,也让我记忆里你的不好也完美化了。

随着时间的流逝,它也提醒着我,我们的距离即将暂时的。在冬天里奄奄一息的期望在这秋天里慢慢的茅芽。这几天,混乱再次攻击我,设想的画面重复上映,身为编辑的我的似乎对于一个剧本永远都不能感到满足。但在众多的剧本中,最后上映的剧情却不是我决定。身为导演的人不是天就是你。

是的,一切随缘吧。当觉得该见面时我们就见面吧。当在某个转角处碰见时,我们就不避讳。至于该聊些什么,我已不知。想了好多好多的对白,都让我生疏。

若是真正的我,我想我会, 看着你,静静的说,等了好久,终于我们还是碰面了。是的,我还是会哭。


不过,站着你面前的是个没再期待,只是会单纯想念你的好的朋友。

时光飞逝,当期待与想念只留下想念时,是的,这就是当时我们所说的时刻。


“我们是该见个面了”